The WHY of Horse Ownership

I just finished reading Mark Rashid's new book, "Whole Heart, Whole Horse". The subtitle is Developing Consistency, Dependability, Trust, and Peace of Mind Between Horse and Rider. I'm not sure at what point in your life with horses all of this becomes significant, because I've been around horses for 20 years, and it's only in the last 1-2 years that it has become really important. That got me to thinking, knowing how much time I've spent with these critters, trying to understand the what, where, when and for how long of horse training and it's just NOW that I've gotten to the why of horsemanship, what chance does the average horse owner have of reaching that question after just a few years, let alone understand the answer?

Let me explain. When I was first introduced to horsemanship, it was through, what else, videos from a very dear friend. I watched Parelli's original Seven Games and videos from John Lyons, in addition to VHS tapes from Clinton Anderson's earliest days (he was even thinner then). In addition, I read Parelli's book, "Natural Horse-Man-Ship". One of the statements in that book has stuck with me for 20 years and I am reminded of it every time I meet a new horse owner and their horse. I'm not quoting verbatim, but his words go something like this. For every 100 new horse owners there are today, in one year 80% of those original 100, some 80 people will be "out of horses"( I say two years). That means they are no longer riding or engaging in regular activity with their horse and have either sold it or put it on pasture or care with someone else until they can sell it.

Then out of the remaining 20 people of the original 100 owners, within FIVE years of acquiring a horse, 80% or another 16 owners will no longer own or be involved with their horse on a regular basis. That leaves just 4 owners out of every 100 who will still be directly caring for, riding, playing with, showing or training their horse regularly. I thought he was exaggerating, but now 20 years later, I can say that my observations confirm this every day.

Having been a new horse owner in the past, I can still remember the WHY that was in my mind when I bought my mare. I was going to go on long, luxurious rides with my friend, the horse, through verdent pastures, the wind blowing through my hair, our every move synchronized as she took me to a beautiful babbling brook deep in the woods, where we'd both share a drink from the clear cool water and I'd stroke her mane. With very little effort I'd climb on her back and as if she could read my mind, she'd take us both home through the hills and valleys of our gorgeous 10,000 acre ranch.....

And then, reality, bit me in the back side. You've already read some of my posts about the early "adventures" with Rose, my first horse. Once we realize that life with horses is not even close to our ideal, whether that's trail riding, showing, gaming, jumping and on and on... we try to "fix" what's wrong with the picture we now see in front of us, because we're oh so sure it is the horse's fault. Some people send horses to trainers (that term makes me cringe sometimes, because of how easily that title is acquired and how often it is thrown around by just about anyone who's ridden more than the owner who brings their horse to them) for the magical "60 or 90" days of training. Having spent 20 years with horses, and knowing how much I've done with my own in just the last 5 years, that's like saying a child can learn to read and write in 1 week.

We take a lot for granted about horses. They are physical beings, designed to run and it is their graceful athleticism that attracts us to them, but they are not born with someone on their back and we have to understand what it takes for a horse to build muscle strength, flexibility and stability as well as balance in their body AND mind! It's that mind part that is overlooked early on and it is what gets us into trouble with horses in a big way.

In addition,I was given the impression, that although horses didn't look alike, they basically came with the same understanding of what was expected of them. Some professionals lump horses into two categories, hot and nervous OR cold and lazy. One you have to kick harder than the other. The nervous ones you have to pull on more, possibly using a bigger bit or tie down.

Ah, that's the next phase of new ownership. If the training didn't take, then it's time for more tools, gadgets and gizmos known as TACK. Horses are just dumb animals, right? They just need to know how serious we are about our requests/demands by using force and intimidation. Pretty soon, the lovely picture of me and my horse as one riding into the sunset, has turned into a scene from the wild wild west, with my goal being to subordinate and subdue my horse until he submits to my will. It's now a battle to be won. If this technique doesn't work, I'll go on to another. I'll use a bigger stick, a larger knot on my halters. I'll MAKE this horse respect me if it's the last thing I do! I think that's what I said right before the horse bucked me off into a wall and I heard my collar bone crack.

Let me pause for a moment and take a deep, cleansing breath. I was starting to get my pulse up and my fingers were tightening over the keyboard, with teeth clenched. There was a point in my early days with my mare when I watched a couple of different "trainers" work with horses, including a woman who gave my daughter lessons. My little girl was about 8 or 9 at the time, riding a quiet chestnut mare around the arena at a very slow walk. When the trainer asked my daughter to pick up a trot, the horse did not respond and continued to walk. When this continued for several minutes, the trainer picked up a small rock in the arena and flung it at the horse's foot, startling it forward into a trot. Unfortunately, my daughter was not prepared, lost her balance and fell off into the soft dirt. Unhurt, she got up a bit shaken and was coaxed by the trainer to resume the lesson by climbing back into the saddle. It was the last time I took my daughter to a lesson with anyone and the first of many times I would hear myself say, "There's got to be a better way."

It's taken me years to find "a better way" and I had to struggle through many years of learning techniques and training methods, the how, what, where and when, that forgot to include the why. Maybe I had to become physically proficient at using all of these tools to work with the horse. Maybe I should have skipped the work part and just played with my horses. When you watch a lot of professional trainers (and I do, believe me), they seem to be either running their horses around to tire them, because moving their feet gains respect, I'm told, or they are moving ever so slow and deliberate, giving their horse time to absorb the small pieces of the puzzle that you've presented them with. That's where I am now.

Maybe, I'm older and can't pull on a lunge rope anymore or swing a stick and string to hit the mark, but I am trying to use as little energy as possible to get the most effective results. You know what...that's what the horses do. They're trying to tell us to observe their behavior and just act like a horse. They play, they move slowly and deliberately, quietly and compassionately, they hardly ever have to make contact with each other unless it's to scratch that unreachable itch. They want to be with us, they want to trust us, they want us to be consistent and dependable, so that they can be at peace in their life with us. Only then can they take me for the ride of my dreams. If you want that same ride, you should know right now that it will not happen in just 2 short years unless you remain true to the answer of why you wanted a horse in the first place and remember that the horse has to have a say in all of it. Once you make it a battle of us against them, you no longer have a relationship, let alone a friendship.

It's 20 years now and I see no sign of my passion for horses or my quest for a better relationship with them, ending anytime soon. I like being in the 4%, but it does get a little lonely.....