Then I began to notice that the more intense I was in my thinking, the more words I created in my mind AND the more my ego was invested in the outcome, the worse things got. Frustration set in and it was no longer about the horse; it was about me and what I had to accomplish to retain my ranking as "lead horse". But, instead of improving my leadership with the herd, I became the "bully horse", you know, the one who runs the other horses around, biting and kicking to get his place in the grass and sometimes for no other reason than to pass the time and blow off steam while he is with the herd. I say he, only because, my experience so far with horses has been that mares take care of the business of pecking order pretty quickly and then leave each other alone. As soon as there is a specific reason to move another horse, the lead horse does not hesitate to communicate with his/her body and move the feet of the "followers" and more importantly, STOP moving their feet when they have done what he/she has asked. This is the idea in the release of pressure or reward with rest that motivates the horse to bend to the wishes of the lead horse.
When you practice being in the moment with a horse, you are removing the need for ego in communicating and interacting with them. If there is a need for movement and cooperation, it is asked for RIGHT THEN and it is asked in a way that makes sense to the horse. Communicating so as to make yourself clear and establish a relationship is different than shouting and demanding so that you feel superior and dominant to the receiver of your message. They may get the message but it may not 'stick' so that it is easily understood the next time. Horses are similar to people in that respect. They appreciate clear, concise communication and they like having it repeated when they are in the process of learning. For horses, it usually takes 3-4 repetitions for them to get it. When humans bring ego into the equation, they also bring emotion, because it is inevitable that we will be unsatisfied with the response we get from the horse, if it doesn't match our own perception of what "right" is or how quickly it should be answered. Our emotions come out in our physical feelings of tight muscles, quick temper, rapid movements that may strike out and a loud voice with sharp criticism for the horse. This further erodes the relationship with the horse and in the end, isn't that the real goal? furthering the deep bond you have with your horse? Horses (like people) know when they are in the presence of another creature who lives in the moment, free of the restraints of egoic thought. They are drawn ever closer to them and become curious to know who this creature is and what he/she has in store for the next moment.
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| My beautiful Arab mare Image |
Take time out of your day and spend a moment with your horse-no pressure, no plans, no expectations. See what the moment will bring and enjoy yourself!
