WANTED: Human with imagination and enthusiasm, able to find a way to make anything fun and interesting. Must be able to laugh at my antics, understand my limitations and be generous enough to give me the time to find myself. I love the outdoors, am looking to travel and see new places and will gladly learn a new language. Most of all, must be able to accept me as I am and be able to live in the moment with me every day. Serious inquiries only. Call 1-800-HORSE
Years ago, I began writing a story written from the horse's perspective about an old mare who had found herself in yet another home after being shifted from one owner to the next. My goal was to express the feelings of a horse at the other end of the lunge line, so to speak. Recently, when working with several different horses, including my newest guy, Wave, I realized that more than anything a horse wants to bond with us and then with each meeting, create a deeper connection. Horses are social animals and they thrive on the interactions between them and other creatures. If we constantly make demands of them, then they see us as bullies, that is, we are the horse in the herd who wants nothing more than to move their feet and push them around. Instead, we need to make ourselves more interesting to the horse to heighten their curiosity. If we bring something different to the experience each time we meet with our horse, they will always be drawn to us. This, in turn, builds a strong relationship.
In the beginning, I was like every other horse owner. I don't have a lot of imagination. My nature is to see something that needs to be done and organize the parts into a workable whole. I thrive on structure and predictability. I am in many ways a right brain introvert. In the past, if things got too hectic or the pressure on me in my life was too great, I would find a way to avoid it, run from it. It's taken many years of practice and desensitization to get me to realize that I can move into situations that could potentially scare me, each time able to gain the tools to deal with the scariness.
I had to learn to be more playful with my horses. I do have a good sense of humor and so it doesn't take much to trigger the funny bone in me and find the silliness in many situations. The difficulty was combining my highly organized mind with my silly, fun loving soul. Trust me, it takes work, but it can be done!!!!!
Our horses love it when we dance around, throw things in the air and create noises, as long as they are given a chance to absorb it at their own pace. Many times a horse just wants you to hug and love on them, touch them everywhere, like their mother did and make them feel like you are just another herd member looking to bond, instead of the bully that wants them to move away and DO SOMETHING! If you remember from the Seven Waterhole Rituals, this is the first one called "Sharing Territory".
I think what stops most of us from going out and bonding or playing with our horses is something called TIME! We have horses as a part of a sometimes busy or demanding life. When I first acquired a horse, I was working full time and had a home, husband and soon after that a newborn daughter. Guess who ended up at the bottom of the list of priorities? And yet, every time I went out to see my horse, I expected her to be ready for whatever I had in mind. Clinton Anderson used to say something like "My horse has 23 hours to stand around and do nothing, so when he's with me for 1 hour, I expect him to do what I want him to do." It seemed to make sense in the beginning. Why shouldn't our horses behave for JUST one hour and perform for us without resisting; is that asking TOO MUCH? But, as I have spent more time with the horse and better understand their nature, it turns out that they should be saying, "You've been gone for 23 hours and now you want me to just give you all of my heart and soul, mind and body for one hour without even taking the time to spend a few moments in my world?" "Would it kill you to just love and hug on me, let me roll, massage me, stretch my limbs, play nice music and interact in a playful, interesting way? Or maybe we could go for a walk to the park or you sit in the sun while I graze next to you."
Unfortunately, for a lot of us, the answer again is TIME-don't have enough in our every day lives. But, sometimes, it is just that we have not been able to let go and let our imaginations and our fun loving nature spill out into our precious few moments with our horses. I know it's hard. I work on practicing the art of just being with my horse every day I go to the barn. It's hard to teach people the art of being, but I will tell you that it is a process that you have to try. Once you experience it, you'll never want to go back.
This past week I was able to get on Waverley for the first time. Thanks to the great patience and kindness of Aimee, I now have a new partner. I have to remember to honor his wishes and when I answer his ad I will remember to have only the best intentions for a long life together. Call your horse today and start a new relationship. Here's the video of my first time "RIDING THE WAVE"!!!!!
