Riding Well Means Never Having to Say "I'm Sorry"

When I look back over the last 20 years of riding I can now say that in almost every case where I had problems with my horse under saddle, it was usually because of what I was doing to disturb the horse's balance and emotional state, probably inflicting pain either at the front end by pulling on his mouth or by bouncing on his back while moving around erratically, giving mixed signals for whoa and go at the same time.

Anyone who's spent more than a year of consistent contact with a horse, knows that for the most part, they are a patient and forgiving animal. Some animals have more tolerance of course. The ones who don't put up with our foibles, are passed on to owner after owner. We just had a horse at the stables that had been given to a horse owner for free from the previous owner who had also gotten her for free. She was apparently of excellent breeding with several foundation quarter horses in her pedigree.

Unfortunately, no one told her that she was a supposed to be a well bred horse, worth thousands of dollars, which apparently guarantees that her behavior would be exemplary, a horse easy to train and destined to be a success in the arena or out on the trail. She has now been passed on to yet another owner because her personality was one that made her very mistrusting, oversensitive and downright dangerous when pushed to her limits. Fear was the most prevalent emotion for her, followed by a need to be dominating-the scariest combo in a horse. When overwhelmed with fear (which happened easily)this horse will try to run first, then fight vigourously. Without consistent, confident treatment, it's only a matter of time until she hurts someone or is hurt. Unfortunately, many people believe that the only option is to use the mares for breeding, passing on the extreme personality to yet another generation.

Fortunately, my horses recently have been very forgiving, allowing me to continue my education as a rider while I learned to keep my position consistent, the cues as light as possible and my hands as quiet as I can manage. There was a horse, though, in my past who fit the same description as the horse who recently left the stables. Being inexperienced and downright ignorant about the personality differences in horses, I continued to dismiss the signals that my mare was giving me. Instead of becoming calmer and more confident, my time with the horse made her more agitated and mistrusting, to the point where she finally decided she'd had enough. It was the first and only time a horse has injured me-I was lucky, a broken collarbone and a few bruises, including the one to my ego.

Now that I know what I know, I would have used significantly different techniques to train the mare. I would have also known that she was about to blow when I got on her that day. Since that day eight years ago, I've been trying to understand everything I can about the horse, so that it would never happen again, to me or anyone else. And I'm sure I owe the mare that bucked me off, a serious apology.

Today's ride with my current mare was a success. She remained calm and confident from beginning to end, even though I chose to ride with a bit in her mouth. My hands remained quiet and I asked her with cues that were barely noticeable to anyone but her and me. So many times over the past years, I was not so nice to her and she reacted negatively. I blamed her and the ride ended in frustration and disappointment for me and probable unspoken pain for her.

So,today I said "I'm sorry" to my mare for all of the bad rides we'd shared and made a silent promise to continue working on my riding, so that she would never lose her balance or feel nervous or experience pain because of my ignorance or physical limitations. I've learned that riding well means never having to say "I'm sorry."