One Year Anniversary with Wave

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2015

It's been a year since Wave and I became acquainted and as the days and weeks go by I am finally beginning to feel like we belong together. I think he would agree. Now when he puts his nose on me and leans on my shoulder, I can give him a gentle kiss or a soft stroke with my hand, instead of pushing him away to avoid his nipping. He's beginning to understand where the boundaries are. This summer I was able to go out to his pasture and call him in with very little effort and he stayed with me even with other people and horses around....all at liberty!

This is the real goal of all relationships with horses: for them to WANT to be with us and for us to want to be with them. But our role has to encompass four things: nurturing, companionship, leadership and dominance. Unfortunately, in too many horse-human relationships there is way too much of one and not enough of another. After 6 months working with Wave I realized that he was acting like a child who was allowed to get his way and treated me like a companion, not a leader. When I put on my leadership cap, he was better, but I found myself putting a lot of pressure on him to do it MY WAY.

As a 6 year old who has spent most of his life in stalls and not being socialized by the more mature members of a herd, he tends to "whine and vent" at me inappropriately when I ask him to do something, even to follow me (off a line, loose in an arena). He takes my requests as something annoying and taxing, he is not used to tolerating discomfort in the form of fear or physical strain. And he is a master at quietly side stepping any efforts to bend to my wishes.  He has missed the dominance portion in his life with mostly women giving him the nurturing and companionship. Then when he was given to a male trainer, they used NOTHING BUT dominance and he  reacted with extreme resistance. Their dominance was ego driven, "I'm right and you're a stupid animal" which made matters worse.

It is my job to dominate him in a way that he can experience fear and discomfort but only enough so that he learns to accept it as a part of life. I too am learning to accept feeling uncomfortable and vulnerable in life. Being able to tolerate a little discomfort teaches us to accept it and not take messages of fear and blow them out of proportion.  I am giving Wave the opportunity to expand his comfort zone, to slowly take him into places he's never been knowing that he can survive. 

In the new year, I am planning on stepping out of my comfort zone more and more as I set off on new adventures. I am going to take Wave with me as much as I can and together our desire to take risks will lead to a more enriched life. I look forward to meeting more people and sharing my knowledge and experience with anyone willing to listen. I hope you'll join us...